It’s that time of year. Childrens’ summer vacations and camps have ended. They are back to school writing essays entitled “What I did During Summer Vacation.”
I too went to camp this summer. Enlightened Warrior Training Camp. But, unlike children who look forward to camp I was like Garfield the Cat on the window – arms and legs extended out to block myself from being pushed through the door. I was having a quiet, and sometimes not so quiet tantrum, whining “I don’t want to go!!!!!”
The “I don’t want to go” began nine months ago, when I first signed up to attend Warrior camp. I knew it was going to be in a form that wold take me out of my comfort zone. And, being a person who likes to avoid emotional as well as physical pain the last thing I wanted was to go out of my comfort zone. However, the true part of me knew I HAD to do exactly that. The true part of me thirsted for the transformation. Frikin’ true me! But, man… look below at the things we were going to learn there. How could I not want that?
WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO LEARN
• How to consciously observe yourself so that you respond to circumstances from choice instead of reacting from conditioning and habit.
• How to tap into your intuition and know when it is giving you direction.
• How to move gracefully with the flow of life instead of struggling against it.
• Simple secrets to peace and happiness in everyday life.
• How to create “focus with balance” in your life.
• How to avoid struggle and overwhelm.
• How to expand your ability to concentrate and stay focused.
• How to dance between your body, mind and spirit in everyday life.
• How to quiet your mind and attain inner peace.
• How the “process of manifestation” works from our inner to our outer world.
• That you are greater than you “think” and that you can be and do much more than you ever imagined! You will finally get to meet the “real” you.
As it is with all the Peak Potentials seminars and camps we never know any of the details beforehand. The reason for that is because the camps and seminars are so experiential if we knew in advance what we’d be doing, well, heck, we might chicken out and not go. Like when I was checking out the website of the ranch the camp was at. On one of the website’s pages there was a photo of a log to walk across about 20 feet off the ground. I didn’t know if we were going to have to do that. Part of me said of course we aren’t doing that because there’s a picture of it on the website and because Peaks courses are so hush hush they would not allow that photo to be up there if we were walking the log. The other part of me freaked out that I was going to have to walk the log. I was more scared seeing that log than when I was only imagining what we might be doing.
So, now I’m getting closer and closer to the camp date and I’m getting more and more freaked out. I decided it didn’t matter if we were walking the log or not. I would use that as a symbol of the scary things we would be doing. I began to do energy work on myself to clear my fears and get me to where I saw walking the log as something easy and enjoyable. It took me several weeks to go from freaked out to excited. Thinking about the deepest transformational exercises at the other Peaks seminars I’ve been to that were so multi-dimensional, that helped me get excited. I wondered what kind of unique approaches they would be using at Warrior Camp.
I also remembered how I used to be afraid of spiders until I became a mom and had to defend my children against the evil spider crawling up their bedroom wall. In one instant I went from afraid of spiders to a superhuman spider killer and protector of children. That made me realize I could move from fear to courage in a split second. So, at warrior camp, if there was something fear inducing that I had to do I would simply think of my children being there and I would be the role model, leading the way so they would see how easy it was, that they could do it too.
The day before I left for Warrior camp, when watching some Rob Riggle stand up comedy on TV about Riff-Raff Airlines he said repeatedly “That’s how I roll.” Now, Riggle is a big guy and a former marine. When I see him I see a warrior. He’s been through a warrior camp much more challenging than the one I’m about to go to. When he says “That’s how I roll” you know not to mess with him. He says it with the grounded confidence I want to tap into. He exudes warrior vibe from every cell of his body.
So, to anchor in that I’m a role model AND the confidence of Riggle’s “that’s how I roll” I found a small river rock to keep in my pocket at camp and painted onto that rock “THAT’S HOW I ROLE.” Finally, I was mentally prepared for Warrior camp.
The 5 days were AMAZING! It was challenging physically, mentally,
and emotionally as well as, surprisingly, spiritually expanding.
On the first full day, half way through the main exercise for that day, I had a breakthrough realization that instead of being other centered, and focusing on being a role model for my children, that I am a role model for myself – that’s like the little me being afraid and the big me leading the way “don’t fear little Barbara, big Barbara will demonstrate to you how to get through this confidently.” By shifting my focus from doing the work for others to doing the work for myself I regained energy. I felt fuller and decluttered.
Each of the daily main exercises was challenging in different ways, clearing crap, bringing profound personal realizations and deepening my connections through the support the members of my “tribe” gave to each other. Sometimes I was the one receiving support. Sometimes I was the one giving help and guidance. In one exercise done with a partner my partner and I looked deeply into eachother’s eyes silently speaking “I’m 100% there for you AND I’m 100% connected to you. We were so locked in to each other it felt like we had unlimited ability. After the event was over we said to each other “wow, we were rock stars!”
In another event I stopped short of complete. My mind and spirit were willing but my body was saying “we’ve left the building.” My teammates were cheering me on and I did not want to disappoint them but I knew I had to stop or I would hurt myself. My body could not do any more. The next day one of my teammates told me how inspiring that was, that I was courageous enough to admit what was true for myself, though it was not what the group wanted for me.
To be on the other side of all the challenges is nothing short of exhilarating. Knowing that I am a frikin’ incredible person who can do way more than I imagined as well as stand up for myself though it’s an unpopular position, is the most deeply empowered I’ve ever felt.
Final evening of camp with Aaron G from my Tribe
As I walked back to my cabin for the last time I was sooo glad the intensity of the 5 days was finally over. I would get on the plane in the morning, catch up on some much needed sleep and relax. I wondered how different my regular life would be when I got home. It turned out I got to find that out sooner than I expected.
When I boarded the airplane to go home I surprisingly discovered my seat was in an exit row. I took a big gulp and said out loud “no, no, no, no, no!” I did not want the responsibility that came along with sitting there. I sat down because I knew before the plane took off the flight attendant would ask me if I was comfortable handling the exit door. I could switch seats then. Then I “woke up” and thought to myself “Sheesh Barbara, you just finished warrior training camp where you became more confident in your leadership skills, and you don’t think you can handle the exit door? Suck it up princess! You’re in this seat because you CAN handle it! You are being given a gift by being in this seat. The universe is telling you that you can handle this and maybe you’re the best prepared person on this plane to handle it.” That made me feel pretty good.
A few minutes later two big guys came up the aisle, stopped at my row and looked at their boarding passes…. turned out I had misread the seat numbers and my seat was really one row forward. The flight attendant came while the men took their rightful seats in the exit row and I moved to mine. He asked them if they were comfortable sitting in the exit row. They said yes and then the flight attendant said “If for some reason you aren’t she’ll (pointing to me) help you.” Knowing that was absolutely true, I laughed, the attendant laughed, and the people in the row behind the exit, who heard me say “no, no, no, no, no!” laughed.
Once in the air I recalled how I had chosen this particular flight so I wouldn’t have to take a tiny 20 seat plane. A few years ago I released my flying fears but flying in a tiny plane was still an issue for me. I wondered if the processes I went through at warrior camp changed that. So I thought about being on the ground in front of a tiny plane with someone standing there inviting me to get in the plane. My immediate thought was “Bring it on!”
The next surprise came during a 2 hour layover before my final flight home. Usually during these layovers I’m bored, tired, and probably having some negative thought about how sucky it is to have a 2 hour layover. I started to go to that place but what immediately came into my head was a firm “What is your objective? – – – To get home.” Suddenly everything else disappeared. I became laser focused on my mission to get home. My energy level increased, I had less muscle stiffness and my attitude was positive. Though I was operating on about 3 hours sleep I stayed alert and focused all the way home and into the evening.
A warrior does everything at 100%. When I got home I followed through on that. This is what I wrote on Facebook the next day: “I am a warrior. A warrior does everything at 100% Today I am sleeping 100%. A-HO!*” And that’s exactly what I did.
=> See Comments, below, for a passionate description written by one of our youngest Warriors after her return from camp.
AN ENLIGHTENED WARRIOR …
… is self-confident, strong, and honorable.
… is in tune with his or her higher self and uses the power of intuition for guidance and direction.
… enjoys inner peace and fulfillment in life; he or she finds joy in simplicity.
… knows his or her purpose; is clear about what they want and where they are going.
… is a master of money, not controlled by it.
… goes with the flow of life instead of fighting against what life is trying to offer.
… accepts him or herself and others for where they currently are on the path of life.
… has learned to be happy whether he or she gets what they want or not .
… is centered and balanced.
… is clear and focused, not confused and scattered.
… lives with ease instead of struggle.
… lives in the present not the past or future.
… does not yearn for approval and recognition from others; approves of them self.
… appreciates and feels part of nature and the spirit in all living things.
… lives with integrity; their word law.
… is fun-loving and free-spirited.
… has the courage to take action in spite of fear, doubt and worry.
A-HO!*
Barbara
* A-HO is Lakota and means “as it should be.”