LETTER TO A DEAR FRIEND

From a friend with financial struggles:

” … I’ve been on the high road trying to move forward… the universe says “nope.. you ain’t getting there till it’s time” “… just like you can’t incarnate or die until it’s time… no way to move forward”

My reply:

I agree that you are not “getting there until it’s time” but to believe that there is “no way to move forward”, no no. There are always ways to move forward. Moving forward can look different at different times but learning and doing different strategies are always helpful actions we can take, even if the action we take yields different results than what we expect.

The reason I focus so much with you on gratitude is that gratitude is the single most expressed directive by all the top teachers, including God (Bible) on how to expand your abundance.

With business the teachers say to “pay yourself first.” That’s about affirming you have value. In the workshop I just attended, and in the book by the workshop developer, he tells us to take this money we have been paid each week and divide it up by specific percentages into 6 categories. One is Necessities. One is Giving. One is Play. And he says you have to use the Play money every month. That it is vital to use that money for play every month. It’s about balance and a whole bunch of other reasons.

The point I want to make to you is about loving yourself. Is it alright with you if I give you an example about how even if you already understood the concept, by taking action in a different way than before can actually shift your inner feelings and consequently your outer experiences?

OK, good. This is something I never did before and in fact, hated the idea of doing it and thought I couldn’t do it because of low income. I made a spreadsheet with columns for the different categories (necessities, give, play, etc.) On Monday I posted to the spreadsheet my earnings from the prior week and in each column I put in the appropriate percentage of that total. It was scary to do that because I perceived that I had only enough money to pay for what I consider to be necessities, so to take money away from necessities, well, you can imagine.

When I paid some bills I posted that amount as a line in the Necessities column. It felt good to see I still had money to pay for more necessities. Later in the week I used some money for “Play” but was feeling guilty about it even though I knew it was the right thing to do and that it was benefiting someone else too. When I posted that expenditure in the Play column something shifted in me. I no longer felt guilty because right in front of me, in black and white, I saw that I had that money in the Play column to spend. In fact, I have more than that amount in the play column. So now, instead of vibrating guilt I’m feeling calm and confident.

It’s true I have not seen an overall increase in my weekly income yet. It’s not even been 1 week since I began this, but by setting up this plan I am viewing my money in a completely new way. It’s helped me get motivated to put some business ideas into action. I can hear my ex saying “get back to me when you’re seeing a substantial change in your income.” I imagine you could be thinking the same thing. But you understand how a change in our thinking/feeling does change outcomes.

OK, so how does that story relate to you loving yourself? It’s about giving yourself permission for play time. You see, I think that even though you do play, underneath it are some feelings that you don’t deserve to play, because you don’t have enough money to pay your bills. (Even though alot of your current play time is no cost.) So, let’s give you a way that you know you have permission to play. This might be a way to do that. Divide your day into percentages…. here’s an example:
25% work (6 hours)
33% sleep (7.92 hours)
17% play (4.08 hours)
25% flex time (6 hours for shower, eat, errands, whatever. Divide it up as it makes sense for your life.)

Bottom line, consciously give yourself permission, down to your bones, to play during those 4 hours. I really think that allowing yourself that time to freely play will help you to feel better about yourself. It will be like taking yourself on a date. You will be loving yourself. Have you read the book “The Artists Way”? Fantastic book for creatives who are feeling stuck. They talk about taking yourself on a weekly date. Same principle, just do it every day right now so you can establish the new pattern of loving yourself. Here’s a pdf about the Artist’s Date. It’s directly from the author’s website.